Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Louie handicaps the awards!
I know you're gonna get stuck watching this shit with your woman; hell, they may even be having a fucking party like mine is.
So, before you just ignore the awards and piss her off, study my quick guide to the awards show, bet some money with the other men sucked into attending your wives gathering and make the best of it. Me personally? I look forward to drinking and grilling with the boys and taking some peoples money!
As always, Louie's happy to help, I says.
On to the nominees!
Best Picture
* "Black Swan" Mike Medavoy, Brian Oliver and Scott Franklin, Producers
* "The Fighter" David Hoberman, Todd Lieberman and Mark Wahlberg, Producers
* "Inception" Emma Thomas and Christopher Nolan, Producers
* "The Kids Are All Right" Gary Gilbert, Jeffrey Levy-Hinte and Celine Rattray, Producers
* "The King's Speech" Iain Canning, Emile Sherman and Gareth Unwin, Producers
* "127 Hours" Christian Colson, Danny Boyle and John Smithson, Producers
* "The Social Network" Scott Rudin, Dana Brunetti, Michael De Luca and Ceán Chaffin, Producers
* "Toy Story 3" Darla K. Anderson, Producer
* "Winter's Bone" Anne Rosellini and Alix Madigan-Yorkin, Producers
Louie loves "The Fighter", one of the few movies made for men this year. "Inception" is a good fuckin' movie too. "True Grit" was aiight, but didn't add anything to the original, and that little braciole was annoying as fuck to boot. "Black Swan", except for a couple of scenes that can inspire wood, eh. "The Kids Are All Right" was better when it was about The Fuckin' Who.I didn't give enough of a fuck to see most of the rest. Based on what my women tell me, the "Kings Speech" and the "Social Network" are the ones to beat. "Winter's Bone" sounds hot, but it's not about fucking in the cold, so spare yourself some disappointment when you think of Netflixing it. And who the fuck decided on including 10 fuckin' movies anyways?????
Louies bet- The Stuttering Prick. Longshot- The Fighter
Actor in a Leading Role
* Javier Bardem in "Biutiful"
* Jeff Bridges in "True Grit"
* Colin Firth in "The King's Speech"
* James Franco in "127 Hours"
Franco played a self-absorbed asswipe with a lot of veracity, Bardem is a real motherfucker, Bridges played Bridges (and the little braciole was really the lead anyways) As usual, the academy will honor the least masculine male and that sets my bet....
Louies bet- Colin Firth Longshot- James Franco
Actress in a Leading Role
* Nicole Kidman in "Rabbit Hole"
* Jennifer Lawrence in "Winter's Bone"
* Natalie Portman in "Black Swan"
* Michelle Williams in "Blue Valentine"
Portman is always bangable and worked hard, Nicole Kidman is on Louies "to do" list for years now,
Jennifer Lawrence was excellent in that grim fuckin' movie, and I don't know who the fuck Michelle Williams is.....
Louies lock- Annette Benning (playing an ugly broad always cops the statue, I says)
Actor in a Supporting Role
* Christian Bale in "The Fighter"
* John Hawkes in "Winter's Bone"
* Jeremy Renner in "The Town"
* Geoffrey Rush in "The King's Speech"
Renner was awesome, Ruffalo was good in the dyke flick, Hawkes was good in the grim film, and I hate Geoffrey Rush so it's another lock
Louies lock- Christian Bale
Actress in a Supporting Role
* Amy Adams in "The Fighter"
* Melissa Leo in "The Fighter"
* Hailee Steinfeld in "True Grit"
* Jacki Weaver in "Animal Kingdom"
Let me cut to the chase here. I wanna bang Amy Adams. Maybe she'll read this and throw me a mercy fuck for my support
Louies bet- Amy Adams Longshot- Annoying braciole from True Grit
Directing
* "The King's Speech" Tom Hooper
Louies bet- The Stuttering Prick Longshot- The Fighter
I don't get into all the other categories; I plan on being outside, smoking some cigars and talking about sports and pussy while glancing up at the big screen from my deck. After all, Louie is no fuckin' finocchio, I says!!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Ain't much Tuccus left when he's thru with it, I says!
Thanks to J "assman" T for the clip
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
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